Second Life Fail

I've been curious about it for a long time, so I finally created an account on Second Life. The idea was to navigate and negotiate a different form of social media and to interact with other users on a forum where virtual identity was highly constructed. What followed was a whole lot of epic fail.¹

First, my avatar. I had to change her outfit from the salmon-polka-dot default into something more credible before I was ever going to venture off of newbie island. My first attempts were to create my own clothing which led to awkward-fitting monochromatic shapes plastered over my avatar. Next, I tried to take clothing off of the freebie wall and this ended up in a box stuck onto my arm.

So after about ten minutes of flailing about the island with the box attached, I figured out how to use the contents of the box and discovered that I had an epic storm trooper costume in my inventory. Putting it on my avatar did not have epic results.

AUUGGHHH!

...and he still has a box-arm.

Things were getting desperate. By the time my avatar was semi-presentable, I had already spent two hours of my real life floundering around. There were a few other newbies scattered around the island and all of them seemed to be self-absorbed in their own avatar customization.² None of them responded to my polite text messages.

So I flew off of the island and into the 'real world'. Where I was immediately freaked out by the voices of other users broadcasting through my speakers as my avatar moved past theirs. One guy was repetitively muttering a series of numbers, a British chap was ranting on about Linux, and a wolf-headed male with a provocative name and insufficient pants asked my avatar if she wanted to party. I couldn't handle it. Overwhelmed, I flew away to a quiet edge of the world and logged off.

¹ It was like the time I tried to play Runescape. Though at least on Second Life I didn't get massacred by giant sewer spiders.
² The amount of customization you can do is intense. Almost every physical feature of your avatar's body can be adjusted on a sliding scale. No wonder it takes so long to get it right.